MT Repetitions

Papa, how old are you now?
Is there a dream you had that you can now live?
Do angels prop up your arms and carry you?
Are you an anchor to the suspended reality of heaven?

When you watch me do you wonder at my lack of self awareness?
Do you want to push me forward – angel hands on my back?
Am I less or more than what you would want?
I sense that maybe.. just that what I am is enough

I am grateful for what you gave me.
I am, I think, a handsome man as you.
I am intelligent and wise and wanting more knowledge
I disdain the popular moment. I am. Living the moment

Anticipating the future. When I fell you held me up
But scolded me for falling. When my wife left me,
You smiled and told me, She is a very selfish person.
And I awoke from that nightmare.

Papa, I know you are still there.
Watching and letting me live. Maybe throwing words
Through friends’ mouths, in flashing text
To keep me awake and aware.

I will try to keep moving.
I will deal with what comes my way.
I will control it when I can.
I will let go and experience the rest.

He closed his eyes morals so high
He thought there were clouds in the sky

Carl sat a distant look on his face.
Staring a monkey, he thought himself
Less of a man. The red bikini bottoms
on the beach flipped sand on his trousers

He runs through the dripping rain
And the wind fights to hold him

White teeth so sparkling invite Carl
Sharks to giant waves washing wet
over the glistening bouncing skin
covered in those tiny red triangles.

His eyes are open shouting incantations
A lunge of withheld desperation

Laughter so sweet feathers sprout
a proud accordion display spinning
his mind like that little puppy
so desperate to bite it’s own tail.